Living the dream

Living the dream
Visiting grandmas farm.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Granny's Guide to Everything

I have always been an opinionated person. Just ask my husband. I have an idea about how to fix everything. It may not always work and I'm quick to admit that. I also have no problem requesting ideas from others. It's solving the problem that's important. If you don't find the right answer the first time, try again, that's my motto. I can be persuaded to change my mind about something if your reasoning is sound so don't be afraid to comment, suggest solutions, and ask questions of me on this blog. I basically started a blog so that those who read my writing on other sites have a place to go to get to know me better. I intend to post personal ramblings and opinions as well as tips and advice and little tidbits of information I have learned.

Some personal background. I was born and raised in a midsized grungy factory town in Michigan. I was the oldest of six children. My grandparents lived on either side of me and they were a big influence on my life. My childhood was fairly happy, I was never a child who longed to grow up- instead I had a rather Peter Pan view of life, I knew childhood was going to be one of my fondest memories to say the least. I was a tom boy, roaming the woods and fields near our suburban neighborhood with my brother and his friends. I learned to read before kindergarten and devoured books of all kinds. I was good in school, rarely a behavior problem, a kind of shy, average looking girl with glasses. At home I was a bit more of an instigator and leader, always coming up with some new scheme and talking my brother and sisters, and neighbor kids into it.
My greatest wish was to live on a farm and own a horse and I lobbied my parents endlessly to move to a farm. It didn't happen, they are still in the house they built, between the houses my grandparents built and where they grew up.

Fast forward to college years. A counselor talked me into going to a local Christian college on a scholarship and student loan. I was taking pre-med courses. Maybe because it was a safe environment to explore "limits", I became a little bit of a rebel. In a big college I would have seemed like a fairly average college student, here I was part of the "wild" crowd. I got a boyfriend who was not a college student and after my second year of college he persuaded me to take a year off. That has always been one of my biggest regrets.

Next chapter of my life. Always one to care for strays I picked up a boyfriend fresh out of 2 tours of duty in Viet Nam. He was an alcoholic and had a host of other mental problems. Like a lot of optimistic women I thought I could help him. Then I got pregnant. He wanted to marry me but something in me said no and I didn't, despite the tears and pleading of my mother. I had already dealt with too much drama and despair. I knew that I couldn't raise a child in that situation. I decided that I would devote the next 18 years to being the best mother I could be, making my childs welfare the top concern. I had a job in one of the major box store chains and I worked hard to get promotions and support myself and my child. I managed to buy a small house in the same grungy factory town and my son attended the same schools I went to. I rarely dated, although I had friends of both sexes and a quiet social life. I had a big garden, several pets, and I read back to the land magazines with a passion. I still wanted a farm.

Next chapter. My son was in high school. He was talking about getting married to his girl friend already. I realized that he wouldn't be around forever and I was lonely. When he left on a summer vacation to visit my sister in Alaska, I decided to put some serious effort into dating.
At age 40 I found my soul mate and married him. The woman everyone thought would never marry, did. I also acquired two teenage step children, the oldest, a girl, got married a few months after her father and I married. There were some rough spots with my son and stepson but it all worked out in the end.

Three years after my husband and I married, company he worked for went bankrupt. He found a new job, but it wasn't in the same field. It did leave him with a little more time and flexibility. We had been talking about moving "beyond the sidewalk". It was time to do it. We didn't have a lot of money so we searched long and hard until we found the perfect small farm for us, even though it meant a long commute. We jumped into the back to the land thing with both feet, chickens, beef steers, milk goats, pigs, giant garden, fruit trees. I got my horse, and a pony for the grandkids. A lot of work and a lot of fun. Our kids, all now married and presenting us with grandkids, stayed in the city. [ Although my stepdaughter did move to a city in Minnesota.] At this writing we have seven grandchildren and are expecting another.

A few years after the big move, there were more changes. My company offered a buy out and I took it. I went back to school and got a degree, educational counseling, and got a job working in the AmeriCorps program. My husband also lost his job, due to another business closing, and got a job a bit closer to home. We had shorter commutes but a lot less money. Then there was my husbands illness. He has a congenital disease of the spine and had to have surgery on his spine. He was in terrible pain and losing the use of his legs. After the surgery he had complications, including a terrible staph infection in the wound. He was able to go back to his job in a limited way for a few years but is now unable to work and is in a wheelchair.

So the big farm animals are gone, I also have physical limitations with severe arthritis and diabetes. But we carry on. We still have a few chickens, a small flock of Painted Desert sheep, and we raise Jack Russell Terriers and Cocker Spaniels. There is a garden, smaller than before, but perfect for us. We love our country home and hope we never have to leave it. It's quiet here at night, crime is very low, I can sit on my porch and listen to the birds while looking at pastures full of pretty horses and fields of corn that belong to neighbors. No boom boxes or sirens wailing. I can hear the rain coming across the fields before it gets to us. Our house is small and old, needs lots of repairs and both cars we own are over 20 years old. But we still think we are living the good life.

I now work for the local Extension office, it's a part time job and doesn't pay very well but I do love it. I teach gardening classes and answer homeowner questions about their gardens and lawns. I also do some freelance writing.

We are waiting for my husband to receive Social Security Disability. He was turned down the first time, although we were told to expect that as he has a back problem, which almost always means a delay. He's 59 years old, confined to a wheelchair, on strong narcotics to control pain and has a host of other medical issues yet he was told he could still work. We have a legal advocate working with us and he and our doctor both say we should be successful at the next hearing. Trouble is, it's been over 6 months since he applied and we are told to expect another 6 months. Things are a little tight, you might say, as we wait for a decision. I am told there are ways to speed up the process. If anyone knows of such a way, please comment in this blog and let me know.
I do some freelance writing to try and make ends meet, you can read my online work at Garden and Hearth [ I'll post the url soon to my new page there], or at the links listed below. I write about gardening, animals, political opinions, you name it. I get a tiny bit of money each time someone reads my work on one of these sites so please take a look. Every little bit helps- thank you. read about Taking Care of Gift Plants here
or read about the cruelty of piercing a babies ear here
or read about how to pass your passion for gardening on here
read about how to plant a tree here
You can read my article about zoonotic disease here
or about breeding mixed breed puppies here

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